WITCHING AND BITCHING (2013)

With special guest Cintra Wilson

Intro, Math Club, and Debate Society (spoiler-free) 0:00-18:50
Honor Roll and Detention (spoiler-heavy) 18:51-1:05:42
Superlatives (so. many. spoilers.) 1:05:43-1:23:49

Director Álex de la Iglesia
Screenplay Jorge Guerricaechevarría & Alex de la Iglesia
Featuring Carlos Areces, Carolina Bang, María Barranco, Javier Botet, Mario Casas, Secun de la Rosa, Gabriel Delgado, Macarena Gómez, Carmen Maura, Pepón Nieto, Jaime Ordóñez, Terele Pávez, Santiago Segura, Hugo Silva, Manuel Tallafé, Enrique Villén

Opened Sep 27, 2013 (Spain)
Box office $7.4 million worldwide

SPOILER-FREE SYNOPSIS

Determined to make better lives for themselves, Madrid town square “mascots” Tony and Jose, in their guises as a silver-hued Jesus and a green-skinned toy soldier, rob a shop specializing in the exchange and purchase of gold. Joined by Jose’s son Sergio, who has forsaken his homework for a day with dad, the men make off with countless rings and other gold trinkets, commandeering a taxi driven by Manuel, and containing a passenger who just wants to get to Badajoz.  Their goal:  make it to France, safety, and prosperity.  Just one problem:  Sergio left his backpack in the store, and his notebook has Jose’s address on it.  It soon becomes clear to Jose’s wife Silvia that her son has been involved in a robbery and is being pursued through the country.  She jumps in a car and joins the pursuit herself, only to be followed by two cops, Calvo and Pacheco.  Soon, all wind up in the Basque town of Zugarramurdi, which, legend has it, is the centuries-old home of a coven of brujas, witches, posing an almost insurmountable obstacle to the mens’ frantic escape.

SPOILER-FREE GUEST BIO

Cintra Wilson is a culture critic, author, and former fashion critic for the New York Times. Her books include "A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Re-Examined As A Grotesque, Crippling Disease," the novel "Colors Insulting to Nature," "Caligula for President: Better American Living Through Tyranny,” and "Fear and Clothing: Unbuckling American Fashion.”  Her weekly Substack/podcast is free at cintra.substack.com. Favorite recess snack: “Astronaut sticks.”

EPISODE NOTES

Music from “Witching and Bitching” by Joan Valent.

SCARE U SHORT

TRAILER

SUPERLATIVES

The Gaspar Noe Award for Most Disturbing Scene
Cintra: The Venus of Willendorf’s dirty ass
Eric: The tooth extraction from El Hombre de Badajoz in the dining room scene
Bradford: The removal of every part of El Hombre de Badajoz in the dining room scene

The Ellen Ripley Award for Character Who Most Deserves to Live (but Doesn’t)*
Cintra: Eva (except at the end)
Eric: Sergio
Bradford: Maritxu

The Michael Myers Award for Character Who Most Deserves to Die (and Does)*
Cintra: The cops
Eric: Tony
Bradford: The Judeo-Christian patriarchy

*Note: because no one really dies in this movie, we are bending the rules slightly and giving the awards to the character that most deserves to live (and does) and the character that most deserves to die (and does not).

The Ken Russell Award for Most Baroque Screen Moment
Cintra: The moment when Sergio is almost fed to the Venus in the cave
Eric: The entrance of the Venus in the cave
Bradford: The entire ritual scene in the cave

The Brad Dourif Award for Character Who Could Have Been Played by Brad Dourif
Cintra: Maritxu
Eric: Maritxu
Bradford: El Inadaptado Social (AKA Marty Feldman)

FINAL LETTER GRADE

Cintra: B+
Eric: C
Bradford: A